your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
