you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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