I think I am morally bankrupt
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
