I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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