Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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