No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
