i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize