She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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