The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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