Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
