I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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