he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
