just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
