Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
