Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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