He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
