some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
