apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
