one two three fourrrrnication!
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
