Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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