just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
