Swine flu is the new snow day.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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