obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
