Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
