you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
