omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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