He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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