I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
