Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
