Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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