Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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