If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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