Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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