help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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