No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
