I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
