I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
