I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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