Farmville is her only friend.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize