Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
