no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
