bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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