dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize