FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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