When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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