did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
