Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
