"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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