just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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