Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
