But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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