What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
