i don't like sucking hair
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
