i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
