YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
