Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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