considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
