I just saw a hot homeless man
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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