just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
