i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
high people should be assigned attendants
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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