is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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