Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
