Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
