if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
