I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
