I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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