I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
