I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
