he wants to bone in the snuggie
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
